Vulgarities...

*****Disclaimer: Ladies please do take note, this entry contain alot of vulgarities as well as distasteful organic waste i.e. Da Bian. If you have a low threshold of chor wei, it is advisable tt you skip this entry. For really ladylike lady, i will not apologize. cuz limbei already pang hong sia(fang fong sheng) . The blokes who reads my blog, PLEASE learn to swear properly after reading this. Thank you for reading.*******


Okay lets get on wif this proper. Those who knows me naturally associate me wif expletives of the highest standards. However, today i shall only touch on a few basics, those that many ppl gets wrong, Guys.. and GERs if any.. Now picture expletives as the english language. Those ppl who when they are damn young, neber get all thier verbs and nouns etc rite, chances are they will speak really lousy english and hence make a joke out iof themselves rite?

E.g
Me: hey kiat wassup wassup???!!!
kiat: nothing lar.. i very boring leh.
*buzzer rings* now we all noe tt kiat is boring, but wat he meant to say is he is bored. not he is boring.

Then we know tt there are people who cant seem to place words at the correct places.

E.g
Me: Wo hui play badminton!!!
Baozhen: Wo hui ye shi
*buzzer rings* Now we dun hui ye shi.. we ye shi hui. Becuz there isnt an activity in this world call 'also' that u can do.

And den there are words tt you dun juz break up and read.

E.g
ah beng: hey seng!!! ai kua hee mai(wanna catch a movie?)
Ah seng: steady leh!! kua Double Team ai mai?
ah beng: why leh?
ah seng: cuz action pack mah!!!! got Gin claudi van dam me( jean claude vandam)

And so you all noe my tong kor lar, if i hear ppl swearing wrongly. Now from where i came from, Bukit View secondary school, Folks swear in all correctlness, regardless whether it is the 3 words chant or the 7 words one. even sign language is being used in the highest form of appropriateness. It is becuz, in Bukit view sec, ppl aspire in to Chen hao nan, so they know their stuffs. So for four years, i listened and learnt the art of swearing wif the rite body part at the rite instant. becuz of my great understanding of the human anatomy, i managed to inculcate more parts into this lost arts. When i went to National Junior College, where everyone wants to be a minister, It is simply impossible to find sumone tt can swear properly. Now i am a simple man. if u cant swear(which i think is a good thing) you keep quiet, and all will be happy. but oh no for the love of lin nao hia!!! njcians like to any swaer!!!! This guy that swear alot in front of gers .. shit i forgot his fucking name.. he is from RV a commando. kiat will noe.. kiat pls say the name in the tagboard okay?? Neway this guy is ultimate.... he swear for no reason watsoever!!!!

Swear guy: (in front of gers) WAh Cheebye the grass on the field is green... -_-

sumthing like tt lar. it really disgust me. really CCb is really a powerful word, definitely not used for blaming the green colour of grass. And den hor.. ppl in NJC likes to cum up wif words sia!!!!

njcian1: hey look at his long hair and sharp comb...
njcian2: han nor han nor he damn gek laulan hor??

For fuck's sake.... you dun gek xialan.. u dun even gek lau lan or gek sei or gek yandao. The onli thing in this world tt u gek out for ppl to see is ur sai!! okay u gek sai1 period. no more.

And ppl wif long hair are not lau lan people. ppl wif long hair are ppl tt have no money for barber. lau lan actually defines a whole lot more than your looks its really the whole package.
And lau lan ppl giot 2 types. !st is those that rea really sut sut, den they noe of their talents and so they carry themselves in a manner that puts him one class above the rest. tt is con cious lau lan. Lets tok abt disillusion lau lan. this is when ppl feel they are sut sut and they act like they are one class above rest. usually this kind of ppl, i laff nia lar...let me give u examples from both cases.

Case study !: Concious lau lan!!!
now the subject of this study is really a close buddy of mine. i see him almost everyday he is non other than nvmscpsaspwecphs Jackson wong jian li.(refer to blog title can u feel the love tonite 2nd para for meaning of acronym). Now jackson is the volleyball ivp captain of NTU. So we established the fact tt he is zai. Now jackson has training every wednesday mah, now ever other day when jackson wear his normal shirt, he walks normally, like a good uni student. den ON WEDNESDAY, WHEN HE WEARS HIS NTU NUMBER 4 JERSEY.... you guys noe abt tt air blowing machine tt cleaners used to blow leaves to the side of road,? well, jackson can work pat time at zero cost on wed. cuz on wed, when he walk, he will swagger swagger like balls swell like tt... and the wind tt cums wif his swwaggering.... can blow leavses to side of roads.

Now we also noe tt Jacko is very good wif studies. he like to get immersed in the dreaded process we termed studying. so 1 time. i was like
me: eh michael( i call him michale cuz michael jackson mah) Rember tt name of the module we took in yr 1, the one wif the drawings??? we call it engineering sumthing.. remember the full name????
Jackson:(fucking deep in thot, creases eyebrows looking o' so wise) ermm.. i dun recall the name, but i noe i got an A... so i juz list out all the mods i got A den we will noe lor(deep in thot agin like he got 100 As to list out.... --------___________---------
lau lan or not u all say??? now let us go to the next case, cuz it is late and i wanna koon

Case study 2: disillusioned lau lan

Now i wanna apologize to non NJcian for this, cuz u guys wun noe this persson and ireally dun wish to eleborate...
his name is vance.... and tts all... those who noe will noe.....

okay class.... today we established lau lan, when i am in a foul mood again, we'll venture into things like dulan and xialan. thank you for ur attention.