strange sightings

This world is full of strange people doing strange shit, and i have a knack for catching strange ppl in action. which leaves a question wide open. Am i the strangest fat ass ard?

Yesterday, i saw a boi at canteen B carpark acting all atas zoomin in on his BMW 7 series. There were like 4 babes in his chariot which makes the monster of a machine a babe mobile, as opposed to the bat mobile ( hur hur hur ). Does driving a 7 series brings in the babes? anyway, not that i can drive one anyway, the closest i had was a BMX 199o series. even that lost out to the obnoxious kid next dooe who ride a shimano mountain bike. Him falling and knocking out his 2 front teeth was the wish then.

Anyhow, babe in red tube got out and strut off. Boi zoom off in his 7 series and my eyes went back to the babe. How come she has to take a bus? 7 series too busy sending the other 3 babes? the answer came rite up in the form of a jaguar x-type sovereign. yup, babe in red tube drove away in a jaguar x-type sovereign. where is she going in that tank?!?!?!?!?!? mebbe she can drive me and she will have a fat ass mobile, complementing that big ass car itself

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end... This is lyrics from the song closing time by semisonic. this is a song i always hold close to my heart. As of this song, the past 1/2 a year has been very eventful indeed, i experienced plenty of endings and beginnings. And some are pretty ugly. However, no matter wat, at the end of the day, everything turns out fine and everyone is happy, so which leads me to think, is ending really always a sad deal? Does a new beginning always bring happiness?

Anyway, baozhen ask me to start updating if not she will kick my fatass, violent inclined ger, scare the shit out of me, so yah im back for now. watch this space. cheerios

KL revisited

I realised that i haven said anything about the trips i took with the bros back in june last year. ITs such a shame for the memories are not so fresh in my mind anymore, i'll just say some of the more memorable incidents. The trip to Genting/KL was pretty though planned long ago was executed hastily. And though the destinations are no exactly exciting, but as kiat put it so aptly, its the company that matters, and in this company, i truly enjoyed myself. IT was rather unforgetable. some of the things that happened,

1. We gathered 1 hour earlier before coach departue cuz limbei cock up, hence we chilled at a nice joint called the lighthouse just across the street opposite Lavender MRT station. The finger food there are really nice by the by.

2. We wrecked havoc during the trip with our nonsenses, taking silly fotos, tokking shits, irrtating the shit out of other holliday makers who wanted to catch their 40 winks and we used the massage fuction of the chair like 1000000 times so we can make the extra 20 bucks worth it. Got 1 auntie super pissed at me coz i constantly rocked the chair. Man she got no sense of fun... . We made a pact not to fall a sleep as wwe must soak up every moment of the trip up north. But unfortunately, brothers all bueh zai cept me and kiat, all fell asleep even before we reached KL. Along the way up, there was 3 stopovers and at ayer hitam, we alighted for some light refreshment of laksa, milo, raime burger, toast and eggs chips etc.. muahahah. Finally, we reached the madness peak above that is Genting!!!!! even before the coach open its doors, already a few buggers donned their jackets. We, being hot blooded young men, decided to 挑战 the extreme, so we went down to be hit by icy sharp jabs of coldness. It was not just cold, it was BbrrRRR... cold. Action pack jiayong who just returned from Michigan walked with his chest high and claimed that it felt like summer in michigan..-_- GAn si lang hao lian..

3. Because i was the one who booked the trip, and because i was damn kiasu i did not want to depart on Friday morning for we will reach on Friday afternoon, i chose to depart on Thur night and reach by Fri morning, so we will have an extra day of fun. IT turned out to be the worst decision i have ever made thus far. When we arrived in the wee hour of the morning, we could not check in to the hotel yet, and all the shops are still closed, there is but 1 place to spend our time, the single most powerful element that attracts people to Genting, the thrills and spills that comes with it, the CASINO!!!!!!!..... Now all of us were relative newbies, so we made quite a few jokes of ourselve, but nontheless, it was fun... IN THE BEGINNING... we chanced upon an empty 大小 table and we were pleasantly surprised for there is no one to fight wif us.. how every ignorant of us young pricks.. NABEH, we should have known sia, bo lang equals 包输. Anyway, we happily dei our bets and slowly but surely, we fall preys to the casino and joined the list of dunnoe how many million suckers. Namely, we bet big, it open small, for like 20 rounds. in the end, all of us lost. i lost the least, around 70 RM. the rest lost at least 100 RM and my MAN zhikai, MY roomie who has the 堵神 blood in him, he is the most hongan-ed. HE went down in a blaze of glory, losing about 500 RM!!!!! muahahhaha..... AFter that, we concluded that gambling is a vice we must not fuck around with, so we went to the hotel room and played mahjong instead.. hahahah courtesy of alvin, his miniature mahjong set.

4. We did not go too much places in Genting, basically just walking around, soaking up the clouds. We took a few pictures and imgine that we are in shu shan, and we are the warriors of mountain ZU. muahahhaha!!!! We went to the hotel's restaurant for a buffet breakfast and determined to eat back wat Genting owes us, we ate about 100000 sunny side ups, for there was nothing nice really.... dammit. We took a bus down to KL and that was when the FUN really started.

5. Before we even went on the trip, i already devised a seemingly cunning plan to 'scam' the hotel that we all were staying, it was Berjaya Times Square. Here was my plan.

6 of us were to go on this trip together, zhikai, chunkait, alvin, jiayong, roger and limbei, when i booked the trip, i booked for 5 people only, so we took a double room and a triple room. until the very last day before we set off, i included 1 more place and hence this threw the original plans into mayhem as now, we need a triple room. despite the short notice, the agency and the hotel, eager to earn our money, agreed to the last minute addition readily. So when we checked into Berjaya that day, i knew that the wheels were already in motion.

Me: so here is our hotel voucher, can we checked into our 2 triple rooms now?*smiles*
Check in counter: ERm sorry sir, but our record shows 1 triple and 1 double. mebbe you made mistake.
Me: but i have the vouchers here which clearly stated that i have 2 triple rooms, side by side. how can i be wrong??
Check in counter: erm, this is the holiday seasons and we ran out of triple rooms already. mebbe we can provide a mattress for the additional guests?
me: WAt was that??!?!?!? we paid the full amount so that we can sleep on mattress??
Check in counter: SOrry sir let me make some arrangements.....
MUAHAHAHAAHHA...... i knew wat arrangement he was going to make. i got this plan from Zac, who visited the place a few months back. he got the same deal too, by mistake of cuz. not everyone as cunning as me. In the end, to appease us, the hotel decided to put us up in the luxury suite, where there is a living room, 2 bedrooms, a kitchen and 1 hell of a ass kicking view for the room was on the 2nd last storey. MUAHAHAHAHAHHA......

7. Next, we went to the Petaling street, the tang ren jie of KL to shop around. this is the chiong stuffs haven. everything that is chiongable can be found here. we were enjoying ourself, shopping and eating(the popiah is thick as subway burger and cost 1.20 RM.. hows that for a bargain) until when i came across this 黑店。At the point of time, only jiayong was with me. i came across this leather slingbag that i really fancy, the shopkeep walked up and said, 老板，70 卖你. I knew that we have to make a bargain over there, so i said, 50 lar. e said cannot as he will operate at a loss which is bullshit for the cheebye bag probably cost 10 bucks to produce. Anyway, we walked away and that Ahbeng shop owner chased me and said that he is willing to sell it to me at 60. i was pretty determined to to let him get the better end of the bargain but he wld not bulge. So we walked away further. he kept pestering me to a point which i really dun feel like wanting the bag anymore, even if he gave it to me. So i said i dunw an it anymore. He decided that he cannot lose the first customer for its decidedly bad luck to lose the first customer of the day. so he sid 50 lar.

Me: nah我不要了。

When the robber/shopkeeper heard this, he went ballistic man..... he just kept cussing and cussing and he pulled me by the hisrt and his cronies of robbers start to advance on us menacingly, he loks like he is going to stick me with a knife anytime man. i was damn horrified. He den told me that he will sell the bag to me at 40, he threw the bag in my face, and demand that i pay up. i paid without hesitation man. i dun want to die in some dirty streets in KL. fucking hell... that was really enough kick for a day. we got the hell out really fast.

8. We were walking along the Berjaya time square areas and keeping our eyes out for chicks. mind you, we were at the orchard of KL and it was a sunday. CHICK watch came to a grand total of NIL. how fucking pathetic is that man? no babes at all, we walked around more and den, the closest we can get to a chick is this

we decided to give it a pass.... bamboo chicks are not hot at all....

beh peo po

Back when i was still a young brat, i remember vividly my dad used to bring our family out to the local hawker centre for ji cha.. at the coffee shop, there is always a boy holding a pile of newspaper and running about hollering out loud stretching his lungs capacity... he will go, "beh peo po beh peo po!!!!!" when he went fast and furious, it went like this.... ma pi po ma pi po.... The uncles around the coffeeshop(my father inclusive) will eagerly reached in their pockets for the much precious fifty pence and they will get get their beh peo po... po zua is actually newspaper and beh peo is 4-D but the irony is that beh peo po is not actually not 4-D newspaper. it is actually the lian he wan bao, so the fifty pence is actually used to buy the small box at the upper right hand corner of the newspaper. The box which contained the week's winning numbers. That was when we do not have the internet, the teletext, the wap services and the 95.8. where is the boy now? this reminds me of a song by bon jovi...

These days, the stars seems out of reach
these days, there aint no ladders on the streets
these days are tough, nothing last in this graceless age
there aint noboday left but us these days.

Footwear thieves ought to be hanged by genitalias and be stoned to death.

I came back from my very demanding internship and i was definitely not expecting to be greeted with the sight of someone stealing my footwear. i saw someone pacing abt ouside my room and i decided to do sum sleuthing, so i went up to my room from another staircase instead of taking the usual one, the walls provided me excellent cover despite the fact that im a fat bastard. I sneaked up frombehind the suspected perpetrator and what i saw shocked me beyond imagination, for on this asshole's feet were the crocs sandles that baozhen gave me for my birthday.He tried to look around left and right to ensure that he is sneaky enuff... great steathy work there asshole.... i asked him what the fuck he wants wearing my shoes and he started to throw in my face a barrage of thickly chinese accented words which i completely 抓不到球。i was two steps short of giving the asshole a flying round house kick that is powerful enough to send his sorry ass back to Mainland China. But in the end, i decided to give him a chance not becaouse im nice, but i like to see people being snooked, he will clearly be snooked, for he is obviously wearing my sandals without any good reasons. so i asked him nicely why, my crocs sandals is on his feet. The cockster gave me a shit eating toothy grin and exclaimed that he is here to visit his fren and that he needed to go to the toilet to shit and he did not want to wear his shoes, so he wore my crocs sandals instead. He told me not to worry....

SO HERE IS THE DEAL, MAD CHINA MAN HERE WANTS ME TO FEEL RELIEVED BECAUSE HE WANTS TO WEAR MY EXPENSIVE CROC SANDALS THAT Baozhen BOUGHT TO PANG SAI!!!! THE MERE FACT THAT INSTEAD OF WEARING THE 3 PAIRS OF CHEAP ASS SLIPPERS OUTSIDE MY ROOM TO PANGSAI, HE WORE THE RATHER CUMBERSOME CROCS SANDALS IS ENOUGH TO TELL ME THAT HE IS A LYING SON OF A BITCH, HE STILL TRIES TO ASSURE ME AND TOLD ME NOT TO WORRY.. ITS EITHER HE IS DECIDEDLY STUPID OR HE FEELS THE SAME ABOUT ME. EITHER WAY, I WAS NOT VAGUELY AMUSED BY HIS LITTLE ITALIAN JOB.

Before i can protest, he dashed into the toilet, took a pee and came out looking like a stud. At that instant, all the WWF finishing moves came into my mind and i was so spoilt for choice which one to use. i decided that a tiong zai(middle finger) followed by a stone cold stunner is enff to send my message acrosse loud and clear. den he gave me another one of his toothy grin and he jus walked away.

i hope his offsprings have no footwear for the next 3 generations. FUCK YOU.

Smallville

And so i was trying to lose weight and to allan wu-ed up myself abit, and so i went to th the gym to rid those adipose tissues and to attain a ripped physique. It was a rather bad gym day for me. i was feeling all lerthargic and definitely no motivation to try to lift those weights. i ended up doing some static crunches and push-ups. Before long, i snapped out of wallowing in the pathetic state and started to advance menacingly towards the very imposing looking barbell... it was a good 20 kg and i intended to do bicep curls with it. After a very satisfactory count of 3, i decided that i cannot feel my arms anymore and i gave up....i heaved up my chest like a manly man and then in all angriness, i proceed to do my crunches and push-ups all over again... -___-".

Suddenly the gym door swung open in full force and there at the doorway stood the scrawniest version of a boy. he was wearing this Air Jordan jersey and Air jordan shoes, Your standard air jordan fan, can find in all basketball courts in singapore, basketballs not included. i swaer i could hear him do a rendition of I Believe I Can Fly by R.Kelly man. For those who dunnoe the connection, I Believe I Can Fly is the theme song for the movie starring Michael jordan and for those who dunnoe who is MJ, He is the greatest basketballer of all time, scoring more than 60 points in a match where his team Chicago bulls scored a total of 90 points.. thats more than 2/3 man. And for those who dunnoe who R.kelly is, He is the grammy winning R&B crooner who is also a very active paedophile, always in the limelight for shagging 10-14 yr old lolitas.

Anyway. air jordan walked in and gave me a stare down and i had in good mind to go to the SRC office to lodge a complaint for i am very certain that this pre-pubescent air jordan is definitely not a student of NTU. He look way too young and he actually gave a very gan jiong look at the survelliance camera. But soon. he started to get frenly and strike a small talk with it is a good thing because i was ready to gave him a F U followed byt a 5 knuckles shuffle. And i was right, he is only 16 and he came in to play basketball, so he wanted to see see look look the gym.

Before Air Jordan left, he has the courtesy to walk over and say a very frenly goodbye to me. den before he left, he chanced upon a 35 kg barbell and he casually picked it up and did 10 bicepp curls. I swear his hands are thin like chopstick man.. and not lean muscular thin... just thin thin. He did not even break a sweat man, its so eerie the way he put it down and smile again before leaving. And then, it suddenly dawned me.... this guy aint air jordan. He is a Kryptonian!!! He is CLark Kent and this is smallville!!!!!! i dunnoe abt u man, im keeping a look out for Peter Parker from now on. If we can have superman, why not spideyman?

1 last breathe

Recently, i am being hit by bouts of excruciating pain in my chest . The pains brought back frightful memories of that fateful night... It was almost 1 and a half yr ago. i was in my room and it was around 2 am in the morning. I kept felt excited, not exhilerating excitement, more like heart thumping excitement, all while i was lying on my bed doing nothing, worrying abt nothing. suddenly, i felt sharp stabbing pain in my chest, over where my heart was, its almost like an invisible hand reached into my chest and gave my heart a frightfully strong squeeze. I was grappled with fears. i could not breath and when i wanted to stand up, my legs wobbled uncontrollably and gave way. i have to try to crawl to the door and get help. I had a really hard time crawling to the door. The gan jiongness and the numbing sensation in my limbs did not help much with the situation.
After ard 2 min later, the suffocating hold was lifted and my lungs burnt with the sudden rush of harsh moist air. i greedily devour the air in short rapid burst knowing that i can go into hypertension any moment. Slowly, my pallor disappear and i was breathing again. that night, i opend the door and sat by it till 7 in the morning. i cannot sleep, i must not sleep for i don't want to die in my sleep.

I went to the doctor the following day and the doctor refered me to a specialist but i did not go. i made up my mind that i will quit smoking and tt i did. I never encounter the pains anymore until recently. recently, i have been feeling it more and more. An i suddenly realised, at this point of time i am here making a blog entry but i can probably den up dead the next min. And when the time for judgement comes, when i have reached the 1 last breathe, what will be going thru my mind? Many times, i allow myself to wallow in alot of unhappiness and dislikes. i just realise that at te last breathe, there will be many things tt i wanna do, many words hat i wanna say and many wrongs i wanna put right. But that last breathe will not be enough for all these things. And so today, i shall say certain things to certain people who are important in my life.

i shall start with the 2 people that gave life to me. My mum and my dad. I was never a good boy. always making them upset. especially my mum. there were times when i was immature, felt ashamed of my parents for alot of things that doesnt matter. how come my frens can go on holidays on planes and yet, the nearest feel i have wif a plane are the occasional visits to Changi Airport. I lament that my frens have parents that are rich and they can get the Nike trainers as and when they like. i broke my parents heart many times by not striving to work hard back in Jc. Even now, when i think of the subjects i da-baoed(failed), i felt quietly ashamed. My dad is a great man. Not Mahatma Ghandhi great, but just a great father and a great husband who will slave it out just so that his family can live decently with dignity. He stopped studying when he was in primary 6.
Back then, the situation was not like now. being educated meant that at least 15 years of life would be wasted not working. and back when poverty ruled, that was unacceptable. However, a small reason why my dad stopped schooling was becuz he just cannot click with books. he used to say that the books studied him more than he studied the books. Having p6 education is not getting him anyway. So he found a job with a spray painting workshop. He picked up a craft turning old ugly cars into brand new cars wif new coats of paintwork. thru honesty and pure diligence, my dad went on to set up a workshop himself. The money was good in the past as 2nd hand cars were in great demand. Over the years, everything that are undesirabl caught on. age and health being 2 of the major issues. The nature of my dad's job is physically demanding. he works 7 days a week and the only holiday that he does not work is the Lunar New Year. He is getting older now and he also suffered numerous injuries along the years. the injuries were left un attended to becuz medical fees are steep and he wld rather use the money for our welfare. In recent years, new cars are getting cheaper and people naturally switch to buying new cars. His humble business suffered and our comfortable lifestyle have to be adjusted. When i entered uni, i knew abt loans offered by the university and i eagerly tried to get one, only to have the idea shot down by my dad. He is from the old shcool of thots and he would rather work his ass off to get the money than to owe anything to anyone. I told him not to worry abt that and that i will be able to return the money when i started working. He told me plainly that he will not want me to have that burden and he wld rather exhaust all he has now. A normal sensible child wold den try to study hard so as not to let his father down. but being the ungrateful lump that i am, i failed a couple of subjects in school becuz of reasons that are not significant at all.

To my father: I am sorry that i cannot be the son that u can be proud of YET. From this day on, i will strive to do my best and hopefully make u proud of me one day. I was fuck wrong. There is nothing shameful abt your life at all. You have a decent and clean life and our fmily is always the centre of your attention. You manage to give us a comfortable living with ur blood and sweat. I know we never have this habit in our family to say that we love each other, but i really and sincerely want to say that i love you and there is no other man in this world i want to take your place.

i will talk abt other people in later entries. ......