My Cronies

I may not be rich, I may not be smart, i may not have the look, i may not have the gers..... but i have a gang of mad cocksuckers that i count as brothers. My gang of gan cheebyes... Yesterday and today, we met up for mahjong. thats rite these men of vice are my worthy brothers thru and thru. Its always fun to be in their company. We tok and do crazy shits together. I would like to tok abt them today. ppl who dunnoe them, u can ignore this post. alritey, lets see...

GCB a: this would be the only roommate i have, the one and onli lan jiao kai, Was a fat lump of shit back in primary school but determined to lose weight due to a mountain of split pants. Now, he is jus a thin lump of shit. If there is one thing u shld noe abt ozk, he is a gambling god. He mastered countless forms of gambling at the age when im still contented wif Uno. He is the one who impart the art of pua mah cheok to me. for this i am grateful... ozk is very bo sei in alot of things but always makes it. He looks like a complete cock in the officer uniform, but he managed to pull that one off. His command of the english language stinks but he gets the grades in NBS. ozk is an excellent lover. he will go all out to please the ger he likes. he did sum of the craziest things which i am not allow to write for fear that shuting will see this.. shuting is his gf, adorable ger. i am happy for the both of them. its amzing how he can tolerate me since i always demand the most ridiculous stuffs from him. i am grateful tt i haven piss him off yet. tho he is untidy as hell, i wld love to be his roommate anytime.

GCb b : this wld be cheebye kiat. Kiat used to dislike me cuz i happen to say that a ger he likes is beautiful childish fucker.... He jio-ed me into then volleyball team in njc and tt wld be the start of our bondage.... i mean friendship. Kiat toks the most shits wif me. lectures wif him is fucking fun. we had icqs on papers, we played cardless dai di we called in 98.7 together and we did tons of other stupid things Kiat is fucking stubborn and sibeh unreasonable. i always like to tease him abt the number of gers he like and tt rattle his ribcage more than anything else. why??? becuz an audit done by pricewaterhouse cooper show that ck used to like 1...2...3...4...10000000 gers..i even have a xing rong chi for him back then. he chu chu liu qing, crudely trasnlate at place place leave love. Kiat is a legend, cuz he scolded mr heng, he vball teacher in-charge in fron of the whole sch. and his actual words was... Cheebye u like breasts!!!! haha mad boi who doesnt like breasts. i noe i do... kiat has a very creative mind. i am always amazed by the little smart things tt he does and says. kiat was in the same class as me, his sis was in the same class as my sis... this is wat i call fate.

GCB c: cheehong Alvin..... my kind of buddy. The thing abt alvin and me is tt we share the same mind set and see eye to eye in lots of things. We are partners in crime and i mean this as it is. we embezzled volleyball funds cuz we really needed money for good food. hahaha Alvin cums of to me and a very organized person, he has very meticulous plots... plans in landing himself a gf. shall not go into tt. I like is wickedness when he disturbs andrew or yok. We always confide in each other when we have problems or plot. i value his opinions on alot of things cept mebbe having 3 dates on V-day.... hhaha and pls dun get the wrong idea he is not as hot as u think. juz tt he plots very well... alvin always carrry a temper. and the temper manifest as the activity drags longer. i fear is wrath and i always try to stay out of his way when he start to show his temper. infact all of us do tt cept yok.. hahahha. we are food buddy and lose weight buddy(irony intended) and so many more. i value him very much.
okay, i sibeh sleepy liao kanina write abt them so gan pua siong... 3 more to go. Kaobei goh, ego yok and lum nua roger. shall tok abt them in my next entry... hey its my birthday now... im 23... Happy birthday to me. i expect alot of birthday msg tml when i wake up.... :) goodnight

A Lamenting Entry

Alrite, firstly, i want to announce that i do not give a flying fuck about my diarrhoea. Persistence fucker.... The doc say im really fine, saying i got to stress i shit liquid. Now, not that i didnt take into account tt he spent 6 full years studying medicine and tt i should really show respect for his professionalism in he field, What he told me, abt the stress causing diarrhoea, i happen to know the medical terminology for it. Extremus bullshitus. that's rite, solid 1st class good o' golden bullshit. 1st of all, i am so not stress. wats there to be stress abt? my exams are over, i am financially okay, i dun have a ger breathing down my neck(i do hope there is 1, but im NOT stress tt i dun have none). If im not stress, how can my diarrhoea be induced by stress. secondly, i have been to the edge before, worrying abt olevels and stuff, but i didnt get no diarrhoea. i shit like gold brick man. So therfore, as of now, i will take the doctor's advice of going back to my normal diet and normal lifestyle. so if anything happen to me, my dear blog readers, u muz be my witnesses for i will sue his M.D.D.S arse.

And, i caught the American Idol finale the other day. I only have 1 word to describe it.... Absolutely mind blowing and insanely fantabulous.... Bo and Carrie raise the competition edge to such intense level im sure they had diarrhoea that night. I really rooted for Bo cuz he is such a man of man and he redefine the word rock. his voice, his moves. the magic he worked up(Im not gay), left me in awe. so i was slightly upset when carrie won. however, i mus say that carrie was excellent as well. Forget cluster bombs, bring back the marines. Just send Carrie. She can shake the earth wif her powerful vocal. So, i have to agree wif shitbreak simon when he said that america made the rite choice bringing these two gems to the finals. AND THEN, there is of cuz the cliche cock that onli brainless schmucks such as paula let out of their mouth...
Paula: Both of you are already winners.. blah blah blah
Its called American Idol, not American Idols. so ther can only be one winner.. sai lin nia.. dunnoe how to ans den say she cant choose lar. kukunaden. I bet if she say such thing to Bo after the results are released, Bo would cry and hug her with gratitude while scheming how to skin her sorrie ass.

All in all, i would agree that this is in fact the best season so far. the top 12 finalists exudes such talents they will put contestants of jue dui super star to the hell of shame. Oh did you guys see the ratface judge at the jue dui superstar audition, i dunnoe abt u guys but i thot i saw master splinter. I am looking forward to the next season of american idol. Now dun get me wrong, i hate angmohs, i really do. cuz they are loudmouthed irritating cocksuckers that always sees asians as 2nd grade human being. Ignorant pompous angmoh asses. Nabeh, They really should stop taking hash and weeds, clear their empty head and look up the statistics. chinese and indians are smarter races than ang mohs lor. neway, point is i sibeh dulan angmohs, but i have to gif credit when it is due and this is 1 such case. the American Idol rocks big time. And after watching the finale, i was openly glad that the world idol is cancelled. Really. international disgrace in the form of Taufik batisah and Sylvester Sim c an really halt national growth man. Im not saying they suck. TB and SS are really stars in their own rites. TB can really croon and SS is looks convincing when u throw him a bone... a guitar i mean... but send them to Word Idol???? Care to venture into such thots? let us assume that carrie is sick, so they send bo... taufik pi bo yen lor.. assume bo is sick also so they send vonzell... no match?? rite lets go to someone tt got boot earlier on.. Mikila Gordon... i think she anyday wif a flu and period can chiet taufik gao gao lor, and tts america onli. Lets juz keep these local superstars local. hell im sure mee pok ta will sell better than them on a global level.

Today, i took abt 10 min pondering abt my love life while i lau sai. it was a very packed 10 mins. i think abt the ladies that will forever hold special places in my heart, and of cuz mindless bitches tt i wld love to throw inside a giant custom-made fruits blender. i wanna tok abt the latter. let us first name them, now such bitches, there is only one appropriate name for them......BITCH. i cant say tt im sure many of my guy frens experience BITCH b4, cuz onli fat\ugly\smelly\disgustingly vulgar buggers such as me, can experience the BITCH. all my guy buddies are surperb, cept for mebbe chunkiat and zhikai. Neway lets not go into tt, now BITCH does what... BITCH likes attentions they demand it... they scream out for it.. they have eerie glowing I WANT ATTENTION signs oozing out of their body...An i really mean guys' attention. this is especially obvious when BITCH juz broke up with bf.. they will call u out and suddenly, u will be tokking like u are the closest frens and she expects u to be grateful she is sharing wif u. And they wun juz call u wake up dumbfuck.. they will call almost very men they noe got chance one. They do this to fill the empty void in their corrugated heart. they cant live with the fact tt they are alone now. And they seek the enjoyable company from guys that can entertain them. sumone like me.... Now im sure tt all of u would find me farnie to a certain extent rite? dun gay siao.. damn i'd love to hold a conversation wif myself for im so entertaining. And again, dun get me wrong. i will be happy to put smiles on the faces of ppl dear to me, but But such BITCH, she cum to me only when she breaks off wif her squeeze. nan ting yi dia, im a spare tyre. den she will start to get really close wif me. real real close. And den she cum to my hostel to spend the nite. and she send me msgs wif hearts and love and misses u and shits like tt... and when u thot hmm... mebbe this one will work out, she drops a sack of potato on u saying she got a new bf.. yes tt's rite, im being used so badly im a whore. And can i show displeasure, i cant, for she always reply wif stuffs such its me getting the wrong ideas she does tt to all the guy frens and she onli treat me like a normal fren. and im juz a schmuck. TRY this. How abt i fuck you up down left rite inside out and den i tell u nah.... i do tt to all my female frens... u got the wrong idea.... We dun do tt do we?? Of cuz we dun, cuz we are sensitve and we care abt other ppl's feeling. and den i wun hear from her for a while. but she'll cum back again and i will relent. cuz im a piece of shit , too softhearted for my own good. Hmmmm i muz cool down, for im unsure if anger induced diarrhoea... HAHA. mebbe i will tok abt this in more detail. will update my blog regularly. ***yawnz***

LAU SAI meng

It's really amazing how the insignificant and routine processes can agonize your life so much wif a slight alteration. I hadnt been updating my blog for a damn long time now cuz i have absolutely no mood in doing so. and here is why. MY bro Jiayong came back nearly 3 weeks ago. we met up wif the gang and had dinner at tiongbahru market and after tt fateful day, i lau sai until now...

Yes ppl. 3 weeks of lau sai-ing and still going strong. this is really cheebye if u ask me.. 200 bucks worth of medical fees... 3 types of antibiotics and 3 weeks of meefen tang and guo tiao tang and congee... how i miss meat.. how i miss meepok ta wif chili... how i miss fried oyster.. how i miss my tiger beer... All these, gone becuz of sum unknown bugger i have in my gastrointestinal system. And i had planned to work out much and lose damn alot of weight and tone up for this holiday. now all i do is to wait at home everyday for the next air raid. i feel terrible, i look terrible and for the love of god i smell terrible!! the fucker at tiong bahru who is responsible for my plight beware, for i will lay a recite a curse so strong. Oh yes wif the power bestowed upon me by my acartload os liquid stool.

Why am i so suay ar? why why why? i had a stool test yesterday cuz i cannot take it anymore, eating diarrhoea medicaine and showing no improvement. and if i dun recover by the end of this week, i will admit myself to the hospital. They say colorectal cancer is 1 of the top 3 killer disease in singapore. pray for me ppl.. pray tt i will be fine.

The Freaks That Men Are Morphing Into

I love women. I really do. I enjoy the company of the female species. It has got nothing to do with chee hongness... . its juz that, gers are really good at alot of stuffs. Stuffs that guys are crap at. Women, they give really good advice. im not saying they give the best, but its different when we consult guys wif the same problem. For example, when ever i encounter any problems, be it romance, studies and so on, guys like hairy kiat, diver alvin and sincere yoke, they wld gimme technical advice. Things that wld probably help me solve my problems in the quickest most efficient ways, they teach me damage control. And of course its a good thing. it get my problems solved. However, when i pose the same problem to say afroger, she would in all ernestness, assure me that things will be juz fine. which makes me feel really good, but of cuz problems are not solved yet and i'll still approach the guys after tt. but the feeling of wellbeing u get for confiding in women is precious.

And of physical aspects. This is wat i observe thus far, that women, juz does not stink. I will always remember vividly this incident, back in NJC, we juz had a PE lesson and i was sitting beside this ger called Hui Ann, real atheletic, ran faster than me( i was really fat as hell back then) we were in the LT where smells dun dissipate easily. There she was, sitting there still in her PE shirt wif glistening beads of sweat slowly sliding down her rosy cheek. AND SHE SMELLED LIKE MEADOW...... baffles me for 1 whole day. I have many ppl, guys and gers alike, trying to convince me tt gers do stink sumtimes, spose they really do, i haven met any yet. but GUYS... walk near us after we ran or play soccer... the smell that cums out of us is potent enuff to kill.

Women, they are really good at buying gifts. Guys we sucked at buying gifts, we sucked so much tt in order to get the rite gifts, we have to ask the recepients wat they like. But gers can really buying stuffs that we like. their gifts can be soooo cheap and we will still treat them like gold, making us cheap bastards.

So you see, i haven even gone into anything sexual yet. and we already have so much plus abt ladies. we cant get enuff of them man..... AND DEN, THERE ARE ACTUALLY SUM DUMBASS FUCKERS WHO WLD ACTUALLY PAY TO GO TO THAILAND TO HAVE SEX WITH underaged BOIS!!!! Thats rite folks, a man, wanting to fuck the nubile backside of a boi. Where did such perverse thots cum from i wanna noe. Whats more disrespectful towards the female species than having sexual fantasies of them?? huh... To have sexual fantasies of the male speices man..... wat??? all the women in this world, none can satisfy u and u have to find solace in the back of a boi? I term these ppl YAF. Young Ass Fuckers.

Having properly termed our subject o discussion, i wld like to relate sumthing to u guys. its really farnie how u were thinking or saying sumthing and den it happened isnt it? KIAT shld noe(he was telling us how he nver have Da San Yuan b4 and immediately after tt, i hit a hong zhong den he peng, alreadying penged fa and bai ban b4 tt. and i have to fucking pay for kai and roger. Fuckers). Neway, lasat nite i went for my first jogs after a month of intensive exams preparations. it was a really refreshing run. i have all the time to myself, which i really enjoy. i have lotsa thots running thru my mind. how i am going to spend the holidays, i thot abt the current affairs, and recalled a news tt i onli manage to browse thru cuz i needed to prepare to exams. i thot abt the news and i eeeked to myself. after the run, i was at the usual spot under my block, doing my static workout. i was onto my 3rd set of crunches when i heard dragging footsteps. a guy approached me from behind and proceed to stare at me.... TT's rite man.. stand there and stare. you are so steathy i cant sense u presence tho u are like 0.5 metres away from me. WHY DUN U FUCKING CUM AND BREATH DOWN ON ME. i told myself tt i have to be poilte. he will go away soon man. but oooooohhhh noooooooooooo. he juz keep standing there looking down on me, looking down like as if im pamela anderson juz out of the sea. Man i know iM fat. i might resemble a B-cup from afar i grant u that. but it is pretty obvious my boobies are not the real thing when u are like juz in front of me man!!!!! OOOHHHH DO I HAVE TO SLAP HIM ON HIS FACE WIF MY MAN STICK TO CONVINCE HIM IM A GUY???? And den... it suddenly dawned me... YAF!!!!! i stood rite up and stare at him in his face. Den he did the most out of point thing in the world. He shook his balding head and me making *tsk tsk* sound and den walk away... How rude can tt be??? first u leer at me and den u tsk tsk me??? wat?? my boobies are not pretty enuff for you???!!?!? i proceeded to do sumthing im very proficient at..."lin nao hia tsk li eh lan lar!!!! CCB!!!! ke si lar!!" he did not cum back, tho i was hoping he wld, so i can break his scrawny neck. Now i was really traumatised, for like 0.1 second. after tt i onli feel mad. so unbelievably mad tt i can hear the throbbing behind my neck. Mental note to myself... KILL HIM NEXT TIME I SEE HIM. totally ruined my really good run day. i am still very angry. lucky i neber use my man stick to slap his face he wld be so estatic he'll die of heart attack. MAd fucker si lin nia eh.....

Okay neway, i got a news to make. but im tired now. i'll tell u ppl abt my plans tml. sum guys aready noe.. guys like NV......... Jackson and hairy kiat. So stay tuned yah? byebye